Ok, so i still think it is God's clever way of forcing silence on you through lack of language. It really has been a really great way of sitting back, observing, absorbing and really getting a much better understanding of not only the language and culture, but also where the church is at and where Christians are at in their understanding of the Bible. The lack of language didn't really seem to bother me all that much in my first 6 months, maybe cos i really didn't understand all that much and i was just hanging onto any familiar words, phrases, concepts etc. But now, it's starting to feel like an annoying roadblock.
I know that i've still got a LONG way to go with language learning and understanding of the culture over here, but as i'm understanding more and 'almost' having the ability to say what i want to say (or find a way around saying the concept i want to say), i must say, my patience is also starting to get tested. There are just so many times i want to speak up, share my thoughts from the Bible, encourage friends to think more deeply about other aspects of the topic they're trying to learn about but may have missed the point on. But when i do speak up, i just feel like i keep hitting a massive brick wall in language - or lack thereof. No doubt it's turned into a huge motivator for my language learning, but there's also only so much a brain can take in at a time as well.
the other exciting (but frustrating for me) things that are happening over here are just the amount of awesome ministry opportunities that keep on arising over here - eg to start bible study groups, study the bible with people one-on-one, training up of Thai christians and partnering with them etc. To be honest, I just want to get in there and be a part of it all. But i can't. Best i can do right now is just go along, sit back, observe, try and pick up more vocab and build relationships. But i want to be able to do more!! i feel like everyone is getting on the train and taking off, but i'm still packing my bags and am not quite ready yet. i know that for some of the misso's here, it's taken almost 6 yrs for all these opportunities to come, so they've really had to be patient and wait. I'm just lucky enough to be able to ride off so much of the groundwork they've laid down over the years. But seeing them all go for it now, and me just not being ready is really quite....well....frustrating.
For those praying, please pray for patience, for continued language learning, but also give thanks for the many opportunities that are popping up all over the place. Pray that God will become known and glorified through it all